Sunday, 23 January 2011

The Art Of Conversation Is Dead – (What?)

Art of conversation
What conversation?
The fuckers sit there shtoom 

No doubt
Say nowt
About owt
Then no fucker knows what ye thinking about

Fuck me, we need a cultural revolution
With a branch
Or thread
To wake
The brain dead

Shit give them something
Something cheap
A dummy?
That’s been done
Dumb fucking punk rockers or some fuckers

Been there, done that got the T-shirt

Fuck off wanker
Still got the T-shit?
I burnt my bastard a lang time back
Get ye old mans sting vest out
Shit for brains

No a dummy is nee good
I’ll tell you what?


Masking tape
Reet across the bastard’s mouth

Herd the bastards into a corner of the bar
And then when ye gan inta a pub ye know who to keep away from
Stand out like a bind cobblers thumb
Keep well back
Well back
A void

Then all us conversationalist can enjoy the crack
But keep ye eye on them
And occasionally just get one of the bastards and rip the fucking tape off his mouth

Right you bastard want a drink?

Understand English?

Aye gan ta the bar & get ye self a drink
But once you have ordered get that fucking tape back on
And then we’ll see how flat ye beer is next we rip it off again

Now fuck off


Woman – Please

Well have ye not heard of the Geordie Gardiner technique?


Why man you’ve not lived
A lot of woman think they can only come once
So on ye go nice
But not as good as after the Geordie Gardiner technique


Why aye man
Get ye laccy out*
But first ov all
After her first one
Well she can av more


Why aye
After the first it’s a waste of time continuing straight after

Why’s that?

Too tender
But it’s all down ta timing
Just wait 15 seconds
Then do it again
And 20 seconds later she will have her second
Then wait 15 seconds again
Then do it again
And 20 seconds later she has her 3rd
And her 4th
5th, 6th, 7th
As many as she wants
All neet lang
All ower the house

* See WEST AM - WEST AM & the Story ov SOFTYBOY


(Click on the OLD POSTS/Link the the bottom of the page to read other posts)

Sunday, 26 December 2010


(Click on the OLD POSTS/Link the the bottom of the page to read other posts)

HIDDEN Pt III (In time to becom HIDDEN Pt I)

I almost forgot the present main topic

The c word

And the Evidence?



Is detection proof of guilt

Or can there truly be accident?

Ricky inPlays?


Hidden II

Hidden II (In time stay Hidden Pt II)


Has he really paid two and a half grand?
        Or is he really waiting and hoping for some other to pass by?. 
        Is he really that fat or is something up his jumper?.
        Fat and Shifty if you ask me

Then failing the meeting he leaves a DVD at a safe house & knowing whoever it is will follow the instruction to freeze frame at a point set by a time and before you know it he has the message and he will know the hidden meaning & hence the struggle goes on for the greater lie in.

The Special Digitally Enhanced Version
Comes for a bag of bird shit if you want
Our detection is on record


Hidden Pt I

Hidden Pt I (In time to becom Hidden Pt III)
And there ye go

I’ll even let ye have it free for household use and education purses.  All other users are reminded this unique image of Comic History will only have any lasting value if you are shrewd enough to order a genuine signed copy of ENHANCED VERSIONS most asked for product and greatest seller.  Known simply as the Cunt Sign.

For only a £1000 you too can have a Signed Cunt Sign
A bargain at only £1000
With vouchers for other products thrown in while stock last
The Digitally Enhanced Signed “CUNT SIGN” by ENHANCED VERSIONS.  And on a special for the next few weeks I will also give free vouchers for local Sunderland chippies.

What more do you want?

Ye greedy bastards.